under what circumstances are requests acceptable?

legendary jim ruiz: requests are always acceptable because if you say “what do you guys want to hear?” you will get 7 different answers and you can just play what you want. it is kind of meaningless, because if you wait long enough, eventually someone will request something you want or remember how to play.

carrie sleater-kinney: I suppose they are always acceptable, whether or not they will get granted is another issue. we seem to get a lot of birthday requests, as if being born on that day gives one the inherent right to have a song played especially for them. I always feel like we are playing on a cruise ship or in a hotel lounge when we cater to requests. every time I say “this next number goes out to…..” I see my future flash before my eyes.

john true love always: requests are always acceptable in the realm of “popular music.” aren’t you lucky if people even know the name of one of your crappy songs?

sam quasi: half the time the requests are already on the set list anyway, so go ahead & scream it out. then there’s the person who screams out the most obscure song in the catalog, to show off the arcanity of their knowledge. that’s fine too.

rob tender trap: it’s not very nice, because it’s nearly always for a song you’re going to play anyway, or for a song that you really didn’t want in the setlist.

stuart moxham: not something I’ve ever had to deal with, thankfully, as I can’t remember much beyond the current set. it would be nice to know that anyone actually knew your stuff. ymg always had exactly the same set because the drum machine was on a tape. even so someone had to remind us what was next once….

john phosphene: if the request is for a much loved song, then fine. if the request is “get off: you’re crap!”, that might be different…

james +/- versus: requests are always acceptable if they are requests for your music. but when people request covers, geez louise that curdles my milk.

alan low: we usually welcome requests, but it’s nice to get through maybe a half dozen songs before people ask.

jennifer o’connor: acceptable. I don’t think that means the musician will play the song necessarily but it’s cool that someone likes it enough to ask for it to be played.

daniel handler: people who shout requests at me should understand that I’m not actually a member of the magnetic fields and so I have no decision-making power, although sometimes I also would like to hear “100,000 fireflies.”

claudia the magnetic fields: in our group there is no circumstance in which it’s acceptable.

jeff aden: they are acceptable. the band can just say “no” if they don’t wanna play something. it’s a little annoying, but you’re not gonna be able to keep lameness out of a rock venue crowded with drunk people.

clarissa cf: if it’s a song that the artist might reasonably be expected to know and be willing to play, absolutely — those can work out really well. joke requests suck, as do repeatedly bellowed demands when you know full well we heard you the first time.

ld flare: if you’re a really old has-been on a “greatest hits” package tour, perhaps, and some devout fan pleads for an obscure b-side from your italian-only ep or something… otherwise, I think not.

mike yesenosky: if the request is one of your songs or if you’re a cover band, I see no problem with it. if someone asks for another band’s music and you’re an original band, not only is the audience member rude, but you should probably look in the mirror and figure out how to make your own material more interesting.

robert tono-bungay: where people have spontaneously yelled out for songs my band has written, I’ve been very, very pleased by that. I do it myself from time to time so to me it’s ok. it’s also acceptable if you are yo la tengo, and it’s new-wave karaoke night.

david huon/driving past: requests are fine, but not requests for bullshit we hate.

ben town and country: they are always acceptable—whether the band is going to be willing to oblige the request is the real question.

 

 

in what circumstances do you feel it’s okay to ask to be on a friend’s band’s guest list?

claudia the magnetic fields: dating them helps. second best is knowing that they don’t have too many people on the list already. after that, you should be very polite in asking and prepared to pay.

liz clayton: I have small means, and thus, little shame.

james +/- versus: 1. you’re poor and a good friend. 2. you don’t ask every time. 3. you helped them out in some way. 4. you’re poor.

matt shinkansen: guest-lists are un-socialist. everyone should pay.

mike yesenosky: I think you should wait until it’s offered. are you really supporting the band if you won’t pay to see them? I guess the only time it’s ok to ask is if you can’t afford to go and you know they will be allowed a large list. you know, you could offer to help if you really want to not pay. bands could always use someone to load equipment or sell merch.

carrie sleater-kinney: I ask to be on if I have repeatedly put them our guest list or if the show is sold out. I don’t ask if it’s a benefit or if my friends are on tour.

daniel handler: if I’m broke and they’re really my friends.

jennifer o’connor: I always try to pay if possible, because I think it’s important to support working musicians you like in a monetary way so they can continue to do what they do…especially if they are your friends.

david huon/driving past: it’s good anytime, because they want you there but they don’t want you to pay. I’d put the world on my guest list, if I could. if only I could.

robert tono-bungay: under the circumstance that I desperately must get in, I’m feeling brazen enough to ask, and that I have an aching need to be able to lord this singular gift of favor over everyone else at the door who’s patiently waiting on line to pay. or, if it’s any show at the bowery ballroom.

lisa cf: if you see that person’s band quite a bit and usually pay, then it’s fine to ask for a freebie. or if you’ve done them a favor recently.

isaac cf: it’s always ok, I didn’t spend the last 15 years languishing in indie squalor and subsisting on instant ramen so I can pay to see quasi. that’s right janet, I’m talking to you!

andrew eggs / talk it: I try to stay off guest lists unless I’m working or I don’t want to see the band in the first place. I usually ask my friends to take me off their lists. unless they get big, at which point all bets are off. watch your deli tray, too! me hungry!

clarissa cf: I have a job; I can pay my way. if they offer, I’ll say yes.but it is not nice to ask for a present.

jeff aden: you know, I used to be really insecure about asking to be on the guestlist. then I realized that I never get mad at people who ask to be on our list, so I’ve sort of gotten over it. if they don’t have room, they’ll say no. but it’s not like they’ll be pissed at you for asking.

dickon fosca: if it’s a small gig, the band have day jobs and the door price is cheaper than buying a couple of drinks, I think it’s fair enough to pay one’s way in. if the show is a big venue and the band are drinking nectar from the navels of brewer street rent boys between songs, I only go if I can get in free. basic robin hood tactics, really. if the show is sold out and the only way of getting in is by being on the list, then that’s fair enough too.

terry dot dash: I usually just say “look, you know I’m there for you… you know I’m out there flyin’ the flag for you guys 24-7 so how ’bout it? what’s it’s gonna take to get my name on that list? and while we’re on the subject, what dy’a think about a plus-one scenario? c’mon, don’t put me on there all by my lonesome — I got needs.”

stuart moxham: any. also always insist on free copies of new records if they have the need to tell you of them!

don smith: if it’s a local band, it’s not ok to ask to get put on the band’s guest list in most cases. the only cases where this is not true are if financial disasters preclude this or if the band owes you money. otherwise it’s up to the band to invite you on their list — it’s their list and their decision. if you have an interview with a touring band then you can ask them for plus ones. if you have an interview with a local band then you should bring them a gift rather than asking to get into their show. if you are assigned the interview by your editor then you can ask the band for a guest list, even if they are local, by explaining that it’s your editor’s idea. under no circumstances are you ever allowed to ask to get on the band’s guest list for the purpose of freelance photography. if the band is from out of town and their label has more than one paid employee you are allowed to ask the band’s label for anything, including posters and advance cassettes. if you are planning to bootleg the show, meticulously write down the songs played, take pictures and think about the show for days afterward you are permitted to ask to get on the guest list and ask the singer for a kiss. the band in turn, is allowed to press charges.

ld flare: I don’t usually—as a writer I’d rather just call the club or the pr people.

tracy dreamy: most of the time I am organizing the gig… and when I’m not, I don’t feel too bad about asking. if I feel it’s not right then I buy the ticket or I don’t go

Photograph: gail o

have your kids inherited your musical genes?

claudia the magnetic fields: eve is definitely musical. she was singing in tune along with records (or with me) at 6 months old. she sits and listens to albums in a way that people watch TV. she just sits on the couch and stares off, clearly trying to understand how songs go. she also retains melodies that she has only heard once. this was amusingly demonstrated when I took her to a christmas lightshow event which featured a parody of toto’s “africa.” within minutes, she was walking down the street singing the hook intro line to that song, and now she still sings it. ¶ the thing that she appears to have also inherited is my uninhibited attitude toward singing. while occasionally she drops to a self-conscious whisper when asked to perform a song (lately it is “rain rain, go away”), I frequently witness her singing quite proudly to herself on buses and subways. story songs, where she processes events of the day, or memories, or sensory experiences in a sort of abstract melody.

corin tucker: my son definitely has some musical talent, and my daughter loves to sing as well.

kim baxter: yes, he loves playing music, dancing, learning the lyrics to songs, and making up his own songs.

daniel handler: no, but he has my wife’s sense of rhythm, and you can keep your dirty jokes to yourself, buster.

jessica would-be-goods: my daughter taught herself to play the guitar (aged about 12) by listening to early bowie songs and has a lovely singing voice.

matt lorelei: ursula certainly likes to make noise. she’s finally embraced dancing so we have dance party before bath time complete with shakers, drum, sleigh bells, and glockenspiel.

bridget st john: definitely in spirit and in desire to play different instruments. she has a great feeling for and love of music. and is an extraordinary poet and writer.

kelly velocity girl: the youngest certainly has inherited the show(off)manship gene. I know there is a slumberland supergroup in all of these kids somewhere.

alicia the aislers set / magic trick: yes, she is insane! she has the most incredible ear.  ever since she was really small, she could sing songs, with melody lines, in the key that she originally heard it, by memory! my grandma was a music teacher, and always thought that I had perfect pitch as a kid. sometimes I think that about lida. she’s playing a lot of piano right now. recently learned “home sweet home” by the crew…

andrew eggs/talk it: if they do I will strongly discourage them.

mike black tambourine / manatee: so far theo hasn’t shown much interest in making music, but he definitely likes listening to it and can be quite opinionated. he’s a quite a good listener, picking out lyrics I never even noticed (sometimes not a good thing) and learning his subgenres with some accuracy—punk, funk, ska, etc.

gordon the fan modine: they both sing little ditties all the time. it’s wonderful.

tim dagger: sophia has rhythm and loves playing instruments (she was recently spotted banging away on stew and jen’s mini drum kit in their house).

photograph of claudia by gail o’hara. 

how have your offspring affected your musical career?

jessica would-be-goods: what career?

stephen the real tuesday weld: “dad, is this your music?”“YES!” “it’s not very good, is it?”

kim baxter: after having our son, it was definitely a struggle trying to figure out how and when to play music. but since my husband and I are both musicians, it was a no brainer that we had to figure out a way to keep playing. we’re both happiest when playing, recording, and touring, and we wanted our son (who’s now 3) to see us working really hard at doing something that we love.

corin tucker: it’s tricky to tour when you have young kids. mine are both in school now so we’ll see if it’s any easier.

gordon the fan modine: made it necessary.

matt lorelei: well, stephen and I have toddlers so being away from home to tour isn’t really an option. but that’s ok since touring is sort of a drag anyway. it mainly makes logistics difficult. but on the other hand…

kelly velocity girl: they’ve actually encouraged me to play again. my oldest constantly begs me to play guitar, showing the complete lack of a critical faculty in this regards on her part. when I do play she prefers only the strumming songs, none of this fancy dancy finger picking slow sappy nonsense thank you very much. total rockist.

daniel handler: fun to have a kid at soundcheck.

claudia the magnetic fields: the birth of my daughter two years ago has affected absolutely every aspect of my life. I solo parent a two and a half year old, which means that my brain is almost constantly fogged in and I have limited free time. so the music management work that I used to rip through in a week, now can take me months. emails are dropped, calls not responded to. ¶ we took her on the road in 2012 for nearly 9 weeks. it was ridiculously intense. there was a lot that was fun and joyful, but I can’t say I’d want to do it again, at least not with that aged a person. just the 24 airplane flights alone with an 18 to 20 month old spinning around on my lap was enough to wipe me out. not to mention all the cars and trains and new hotels each day, constant moving and rushing about. ¶ musically speaking, I find myself newly engaged in singing and playing instruments. she inspires me to engage creatively more, building and drawing things, reading books aloud, singing songs together. and I purchase a lot of kids albums and kid-friendly folksy or pop albums. so perhaps the great upside to this relationship is that I have a newfound curiosity in the musical world and in my musical self, which perhaps I had lost sight of.

mike black tambourine / manatee: not much, since I don’t have one. I still have a band (manatee) and manage to write and rehearse once a week, and play some shows here and there. theo is actually a bit of a fan of manatee and has come to a few of our gigs, which is quite fun.

andrew eggs/talk it: it is just the greatest thrill when your kids like a song you wrote. sometimes I hear my oldest son singing the melody of one of a song by my new band and it’s just the coolest thing.

bridget st john: I’ve written children’s songs I probably would not have otherwise written. I gladly put my career on major hold to raise her. she is trying to help me get more involved with all that current technology can provide to help my career.

alicia the aislers set / magic trick: well, I was skeptical at first and didn’t fully absorb that it would really affect things on such a drastic level. I remember seeing rose melberg when I was pregnant and she was like, yeah, the first three years it’s pretty impossible to do much else. I was like, nawww!, I can do it!! and then, low and behold, things were much harder to balance. I just wasn’t physically able to tour or get enough hours to give as much of myself to music. I was able to record with still flyin, which I was grateful for, as it was such a large band that they weren’t necessarily depending on me to tour or whatever. I was super stoked for the support I got from them in that I was able to take lida on tour for two weeks when she was 1 1/2. that was awesome. these days I have a new band called magic trick, and we just released our second record. I’m not able to go on all the tours. it’s financially and family-wise not the easiest thing to do to pack up and leave for 3-4 weeks at a time. but tim, my bandmate, is awesome in that we knew this from the beginning. and we started off working together primarily in the studio. we didn’t envision a band, that tours, etc. they are actually out on tour now across the states touring with father john misty, with a friend sitting in for me. and that’s ok. it’s my choice.  I do the west coast shows, local stuff. lord knows I’ve spent enough time on the road.  (I’ll pass on the boredom of soundcheck, ha ha). it’s just not worth it for me to miss my daughter for that whole time. I find real satisfaction in the studio and local shows. the occasional adventure, like with the aislers set, or something, is cool, but I feel like I am much more able to prioritize in a healthy way. sometimes, like now, I miss them (the band), but until we as musicians can actually support a family on touring, etc. that’s just not gonna be a possibility. at the same time, sometimes playing a show or something, there are those transcendent moments when I feel like this (music) is what I should be doing all the time. it’s what I’m good at.

photo of jessica griffin of would-be-goods, london, 2001, by gail o’hara.

rachel blumberg: common items on most riders for tours I’ve been a part of include synergy kombucha, emergen-c, hummus, tofurkey, veggie tray. very healthy. matt had one dill pickle on his rider. maybe to make sure people are paying attention to detail, sort of like the brown m&ms.

corin tucker: coconut water. the young people like it.

hannah grass widow: lily is gluten free. so lots of rice cakes, hummus, veggies. also cider instead of beer.

stephen the real tuesday weld: absinthe, water, grapes, the times.

bridget st john: water backstage and onstage. a good red wine for after I play. only vegetarian food – light and lots of green! 2 direct boxes. a piano if possible. 2 guitar stands (if I am away from home and cannot pack them to fly).

stephin the magnetic fields: hummus…which I can no longer tolerate the sight of.

gordon the fan modine: chartreuse but nobody takes us seriously. or is frightened of what would happen.

james dump/yo la tengo: office supplies, local yellow pages, shoelaces, old newspapers, champagne.

matt lorelei: ho ho ho. good one, gail. um, “please pay us”?

darren hanlon: lundberg santa fe BBQ rice chips and a map to the nearest pinball machine (both requests have only been fulfilled once).

jennifer o’connor: amstel light and seltzer.

daniel handler: water, coke, uniball pens.

fran cannane: anything we can get.

joe pines / foxgloves: microbrewery-quality lager and a copy of the london review of books signed by robert forster. if every other band soundchecking has 6 members or more, then better add a copy of the cantos of ezra pound.

photo of rachel by gail o’hara.