sharon van etten: I’d say nick cave, thurston moore, pj harvey, and patti smith. I met thurston moore under the most embarrassing circumstances. mike watt asked me to sing for his book release this year. it was for iggy pop. they were doing stooges stuff. and I was going to do “dirt.” and it was like, j mascis, mike watt, pete shelley. it was freaking me out. I was like, “yeah, I’ll do that. so I’m emailing back and forth with j. because I met him through jagjaguwar and he played on a song live one day with us. so he gives me this time for soundcheck and when to show up to sing with everybody. and I guess I had it wrong, or misinterpreted his email. I thought it started at this time and it was ending at that time. I’m walking down the stairs to lpr [le poisson rouge] and thurston moore is just sitting there on a bench and he’s like, “are you sharon? you missed soundcheck.” and I was like, “oh no, this is how I’m meeting thurston moore? this is the worst.” then he was like, “it’s fine, I don’t think anyone cares about any of this.” it was great. no one took themselves too seriously.
stephin the magnetic fields: drew daniel (matmos).
stephen the real tuesday weld: cate blanchett.
andrew eggs/talk it: sleep.
corin tucker: tommy lee jones.
frankie rose: ooh, I can’t say that!
pete paphides: all of butcher boy.
gail cf: john fahey, mark duplass, tim cohen, michael tomasky, wyatt cenac.
fran cannane: um today….brian cox, most musicians over 80, professor mary beard, hilary mantel, the apollo astronauts, michael mori.
hannah grass widow: grimes, just like everyone else.
gaylord cf/wfmu: I’ll adopt ernie k-doe’s sage tactic, as laid out in the song “a certain girl,” and affect coy reticence.
lillian grass widow: gary oldman really does it for me.
allen clapp: mike crabtree (husband of the legendary jim ruiz group’s bass player and vocalist charlotte crabtree and singer-guitarist for the carpetbaggers). the guy built a guitar with a bottle opener installed next to the volume controls. genius.
rachel blumberg: jeffrey underhill.
(legendary) jim ruiz: dandy livingston, june miles-kingston, and (secret) mick talbot.
matt lorelei: those handsome boys of weekend. too cool. sanae of moon duo (who are the closest I’ll get to seeing something as good as snapper).
erin a girl called eddy: jack donaghy, dr. eric kandel.
daniel handler: julia stiles, stick insect, this girl at four barrels coffee who wears a jumpsuit.
dawn cf: who isn’t…
tim dagger: sarah cracknell (we share the same birthday).
janice cf: archer prewitt, always.
shaun brilldream: amelia fletcher, fountains, joanna gruesome.
jennifer o’connor: amy bez.
james dump/yo la tengo: doona bae, shiina ringo, jennifer o’connor, annette peacock.
michael white: I can’t say, for they are almost certainly reading this.
clarissa cf: the coilhousers, mustard gas, lisa fewer reasons to get out of bed than ever.
joe pines / foxgloves: I am still available to write all scarlett johansson’s campaign speeches. or if this question is about 1992, then harriet wheeler’s.