69 Love Songs

Hit up a charity shop, flea market, estate sale, thrift store or vintage shop for planet-friendly, affordable gifts.

2026 est merde but there are small ways to show your loved ones some love and support your local community, band, label, bookshop, record store, chocolatier, venue, and letterpress genius on this most corporate and silly of holidays. It has never been more important to vote with every dollar you spend, so consider putting it back into your local community to keep the lights on for musicians, artists, photographers, designers, writers, and other small businesses. Rescue a pup, go birdwatching, build a hummingbird sanctuary or adopt an endangered animal!

You could give them experiences (photography class! a lesson in making fresh pasta! a private karaoke party!), handmade or homemade gifts (how about some protest sign-making materials), incredible edibles, original artwork from an artist you may know, or something that gives a chunk to charity. Skip the red roses (give them living plants or a tree instead!) or the mainstream chocolates! World peace begins with having each other’s backs. We have to right the ship, and it starts with LOVE.

Support an artist! Card by David Shrigley from Shrig Shop (based in Copenhagen).

Support your favorite band while also getting them a classic album.

Support the greatest artist of all time! Yayoi Kusama tea towels.

Support your local makers! Rebecca Pearcy tea towels.

Give them your heart along with this one, from Tatty Devine (London).

This guy is so much cuter than those weird little normie plushies.

Vinyl slipmat that supports musician Mary T and Merge Records.

A Yoshitomo Nara snowglobe? Yes please.

For those on a budget: stickers (that also support artists)! This one by Leigh McKolay.

Red roses die. Books are forever: Support yr local independent bookshop!

Big box stores are satan, especially right now. Hit up your local small biz like Hatch Show Print in Nashville for swoonworthy letterpress prints.

As the worst people in the country try to destroy the US Postal Service, strike back by sending your loved ones snail mail. Stamps by Portland Stamp Company.

Use your imagination and get them something that gives back, like a T-shirt from Bitter Southerner – many of their products benefit good causes.

Experiences! Get your sweetie concert tickets for upcoming shows like Snail Mail (pictured), The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, Belle and Sebastian OG album double-header shows, Isobel Campbell, or one of so many great indie pop festivals happening this year! Also: movies, book events, memberships to your local art museum, season tickets for a women’s soccer team, etc.

Snoopy using a vinyl record as a frisbee tote bag!

Artist Mark Reynolds makes original art based on so many bands and albums. We want them all. Stuff by Mark (based in the UK).

Books are magic. They last long after the relationship ends (kidding!)

I NEED one of these. So does your paramour.

Preorder them this wonderful reissue from the mysterious Connie Converse.

Even the goths deserve handmade cards. By Westland Press from BuyOlympia.

D.C. deserves statehood! Support Free D.C. in their effort to regain control over Washington, D.C., with this cozy hoodie for your galentine.

Support your local indie labels and bands. It’s a no-brainer.

Get them tickets for upcoming Bikini Kill shows or an ace shirt.

Precious Recordings of London mines the past and makes the present better. Get any one of these great, beautifully packaged records here.

You can never have too many badges/buttons, and you can also afford them while supporting small labels and bands.

I mean, DUH.

Handmade, letterpress, homemade, artist-made cards always rule. These are from Hatch Show Print in Nashville.

Kawaii AF AND in support of one of the most important nonprofits of our time. See you in court!

Analog is all the rage, we hear, so why not get them a subscription to one of the few paper magazines worth reading, like Bitter Southerner. Or zines.

Gorgeous vegan truffles from Missionary Chocolates, just in case anyone wants to know what I WANT.

Rollbahn notebooks from Little Otsu and many other sweet items for your mid-century desk.

AS AN ERSTWHILE ASTROLOGER I AM EMINENTLY QUALIFIED TO GIVE ADVICE. THE BAD NEWS IS, MERCURY IS IN RETROGRADE FOR VALENTINE’S DAY. THE GOOD NEWS? THERE ISN’T ANY.

We met during COVID, talked/texted for a few months and finally decided to just meet in person last September. She’s great, my age (mid-40s), goth (like me, although I might be more of a mod), smart, funny, likes good music, all the things. But she’s cripplingly insecure, in a way that I don’t know how to deal with? I’m divorced, was married 10 years. She’s the first person I’ve dated since getting divorced in 2018. I’m not a “rebound” kinda guy, I like real relationships. But due to her own bad experiences with past relationships, she has so many trust issues, even though it should be obvious that I don’t have a wandering eye and am totally into her. What can I do? How do I make her see that I’m not like her exes? — TVPs Fan
SM: WOMEN CANNOT AND SHOULD NOT TRUST MEN. GET USED TO IT. ALSO, IF YOU DON’T KNOW IF YOU’RE A GOTH OR A MOD, YOU SHOULD BE SEEING A COGNITIVE-BEHAVIORAL THERAPIST.

I met someone online during COVID and we’ve never met in person. Should I propose? — Lockdown Princess
SM: NO! PEOPLE ONLINE AREN’T REAL. GO TO A BAR, LIKE AN ADULT. MOST HAVE OUTDOOR SEATING. WEAR A UNION SUIT.

I have a Valentine’s Day date but the forecast is going to be 28º and cloudy so a bit chilly to eat outdoors. Should I invite them back to mine? Should I risk being exposed to someone else’s droplets and bodily fluids so we can have sex indoors? — Sweetheart of the Rodeo
SM: WEAR A UNION SUIT.
DO NOT MAKE A PLAN FOR AFTER DINNER, IT’S PRESUMPTUOUS AND GAUCHE.

My BF is addicted to Facebook. Even when we’re in bed he’s gazing into some left-wing FBK group and making snarky comments. Is there any hope for us? — Device addict’s BF
SM: ONLY HAVE SEX OUT OF BED, ALWAYS, AND THEN YOU WON’T CARE WHAT HE DOES IN BED.

Is perfume passé? —Unscented
SM: YES, IT’S HORRIBLE. ANYONE WEARING PERFUME IN AN ELEVATOR SHOULD BE ASKED TO LEAVE AT THE NEXT FLOOR.

We are stuck in our house with three children this Valentine’s Day. Do you have any advice on how we can find romance in spite of them? How can we keep them away from us so we can be intimate? — Spouse House
SM: HAVE SEX OUTSIDE, LIKE ADULTS. PARKS ARE GOOD, CARS ARE GREAT. PUBLIC BATHROOMS ARE GOOD FOR A QUICKIE. GARAGES ARE AWESOME.

I want to make my beloved a meal full of aphrodisiacs. What should I make? (We’re vegan) —Hungry for Love
SM: CHOCOLATE, CHOCOLATE, AND MORE CHOCOLATE.

I’m a lifelong commitment-phobe who seems to attract other commitment-phobes. How can I stop the madness? —Pattern Breaker
SM: YOU MAY NEED TO DECLINE TO DISCUSS YOUR RELATIONSHIP HISTORY, SAYING YOU’RE NOT PROUD OF IT BUT YOU HAVE CHANGED YOUR PRIORITIES.

I have a crush on someone whose musical taste could be improved. How can I “help” them improve it? Should I make a mixtape? What should I put on it? —Ear Candy
SM: MIXTAPES ARE GREAT, BUT MAKE SURE YOUR CRUSH KNOWS THAT THE LYRICS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE LITERAL MESSAGES. (OTHERWISE IT WOULD TAKE FIVE YEARS TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES.) ALSO, BE OPEN TO LEARNING WHY THEY LIKE WHAT THEY LIKE…WITHIN REASON!
I ONCE DECLINED TO DATE AN OTHERWISE WONDERFUL GUY BECAUSE HE WAS INTO JAMIROQUAI, AND I DO NOT REGRET THAT DECISION.

I’ve basically been living in slankets and shackets for a year. What should I wear on V-day? —Athleisure Annie
SM: NOTHING!

The Magnetic Fields’ latest release, Quickies, is out now.

Tag: 69 Love Songs

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