the top ten lists.

we are a little tired of the top 50 albums, top 20 singles, top readers polls, critics polls blah blah blah this year — they are all the effing same! so here is round one of our non-2008-music-related lists…enjoy…

Top ten male vocalists who can melt the heart by the legendary jim ruiz
1. Marcos Valle
2. Louis Armstrong
3. Keith Girdler
4. Joao Gilberto
5. Ibrahim Ferrer
6. Dandy Livingstone
7. Georgie Fame
8. Edwyn Collins
9. Chet Baker
10. Pierre Barouh

Ten reasons to love/obsess over/stalk Peter Sarsgaard by Uncle LD
10. – 2. Smart, handsome, talented, funny, quirky, great voice, versatile, personable and has an excellent beard.
1. He’s heterosexual, and thus unavailable — and thus infinitely desirable.

The Ten Songs I Listen To Least, Not Including Songs I’ve Never Listened To, According To My I-Tunes by Daniel Handler
1. ZZ Top, “Planet Of Women” from Greatest Hits
2. Zheng Yingsun, “The Empress’s Lament” from Lost Sounds Of The Tao: Chinese Masters of the Guqin
3. Warner Brothers Studio Orchestra, “Puddy Cat Trouble Pt. 6,” from The Carl Stalling Project
4. The Shangri-Las, “Radio Spot #1: How Pretty Can You Get?” from Myrmidons Of Melodrama
5. Louis Armstrong, “Pause Track,” from The Complete Hot Five & Seven Recordings, Disc Three
6. Eric Serra, “Whispering Statues,” from Goldeneye Original Soundtrack
7. Zeena Parkins, “Acoustic and Electric Harps,” from 100 Of The World’s Most Beautiful Melodies
8. Michael Tenzer, “Situ Banda,” from American Works For Balinese Gamelan
9. Lo Pa King, “The Lonely Teal,” from Lost Sounds Of The Tao: Chinese Masters of the Guqin
10. Limahl, “Never Ending Story,” from Living In Oblivion Vol. 2

Bob Stanley’s siesta-themed playlist
1. Love Letters – Ketty Lester
2. Wondrous Place – Billy Fury
3. He Noticed Me – Priscilla Paris
4. Missin’ My Baby – Clydie King
5. All I Wanna Do (from Sunflower, not 20/20)- The Beach Boys
6. Try – John Barry
7. Chanson d’O – Francoise Hardy
8. Sara – Fleetwood Mac
9. Oh My Love – John Lennon
10. Amore Come Dolore – Ennio Morricone

favourite cemeteries of 2008 by stephen coates / the real tuesday weld
1. nunhead (london)
2. pere le chaise (paris)
3. bunhill fields (london)
4. highgate (london)
5. montmartre (paris)
6. allied war grave (meuse argonne)
7. abney park (london)
8. postman’s park (london)
9. mausoleum of augustus (rome)
10. catacombs (paris)

Ten comics that I will always buy to give to friends when I find them in a bargain bin by clarissa cf
1. Amy Unbounded
2. Clan Apis
3. Tales of the Beanworld
4. Zot!
5. The first dozen issues of Legion of Super-Heroes vol. 4
6. The issue of Batman Adventures whose plot revolves around Batman never having seen “In the Realm of the Senses”
7. Finder
8. Journey
9. Muktuk Wolfsbreath, Hard-Boiled Shaman
10. The Brendan McCarthy issue of Solo

Ten best bread-based snacks by lauren cf
1. plum tomato, avocado, and torn basil with ground black pepper on crusty
white bread
2. poached salmon and horseradish on grainy brown bread
3. hot white bread toast with lots of butter
4. vintage cheddar (irish) with branston pickle on french bread
5. manchego with quince on walnut bread
6. hummous and roasted red pepper in a ciabatta
7. crayfish, rocket, mayo and lemon juice on whole meal bread
8. gentleman’s relish on cold brown toast
9. feta, black olive and marinated artichoke hearts tomato on toasted ciabatta
10. smoked salmon with ground black pepper, lemon juice and cream cheese in
a plain bagel

favorite songs in 2008 that were not from 2008 by james mcnew / yo la tengo/dump
1. “depression,” black flag
2. “b.y.s.,” gang starr
3. “jeffrey i hear you,” the girls
4. “who am i today,” yura yura teikoku
5. “enter the mirror,” les rallizes desnudes
6. “i’ll bet you,” billy butler
7. “daniel,” tortoise & bonnie prince billy
8. “girls in their summer clothes,” bruce springsteen
9. “ah! melody,” serge gainsbourg
10. “everything flows,” teenage fanclub

the unlikely heroes crush list 2008 by gail cf
1. just like the rest of america, I cannot get enough of dr. gregory house as played by hugh laurie. he is such a jerk but you gotta love him. unlike the rest of america, I’ve seen him in his earlier work (like jeeves & wooster, where he is very funny but infinitely less crushworthy). at the moment dr house is tied with captain von trapp, my other new/old crush.
2. I don’t even remember what I’ve seen adam arkin in that got me all excited. northern exposure? perhaps. chicago hope? maybe. tv is all well and good but he’s going to waste in these small endeavors. why can’t he be a leading man for once? just look at that salt and pepper hair.
3. chris eigeman, once celebrated as the steve malkmus of whit stillman films, went missing around the same time that whit stillman did. he resurfaced on the gilmore girls (another reason to love those girls) but where is he now? someone give the man some proper work!
4. c.k. dexter haven, as played by cary grant in the philadelphia story, is very badly behaved yet you root for him. the movie’s message wouldn’t fly in this day and age but he is still more fun to watch than any of today’s romantic leads.
5. joel mccrea may have starred in many westerns over many decades, but it’s the preston sturges movies that I love. go buy the box set or at least rent sullivan’s travels.
6. okay, stop laughing. yes, topher grace did star on that 70s show, but he is destined for much greater roles. I hope! I think he has something there.
7. I got hooked on bbc productions of various classics whilst living in london and one person who stood out is the so-manly-it’s-scary actor richard armitage, who is particularly good and manly in the recent-ish robin hood among other period dramas, where he is usually dark, brooding and misunderstood.
8. matthew slaughter was my favorite character played by hal hartley mainstay martin donovan. I even got to interview marty d once when I worked for timeout newyork and he was starting a new tv show. but where has he gone? where have all the indie films like trust gone? I miss them.
9. richard jenkins played the dead, dysfunctional father on six feet under, but I barely noticed because I was too busy staring at peter krause. now krause is on a silly tv show and jenkins starred in the visitor, the film of the year or at least the american film of the year. see it.
10. I did not approve of alec baldwin’s embarrassing phone message to his daughter that got him in trouble a while back, but I believe he has tortured himself sufficiently over it (see his new yorker profile) — and plus, he has just been so damn funny on 30 rock that I forgave him. he never floated my boat back when he was younger but he even looks cute puffy (just like james spader looks cute and puffy these days). of course I wish tina fey and I were friends (tina please hire me!), but the 30 rock cast member that I actually do/did/would run into is the trucker-cap-sporting judah friedlander, who I recently waited for the toilet with at angelica kitchen. I bet he goes to max fish.

Top Reasons I Hit The Snooze Button Every Morning by kendall jane meade / mascott
1. Just five more minutes
2. Late night mindless cable watching
3. I’ll just go to the gym after work
4. Just ten more minutes
5. Attempt at creative visualization
6. Attempt at re-entering really good dream
7. Beauty Sleep
8. Late night mindless facebook crap
9. Horrible Duane Reade-bought alarm sound
10. Just 15 more minutes

Top Ten Bedridden Fictional Characters… by Dickon Edwards
1. Colin in The Secret Garden (who is much more like me than the Dickon in the book)
2. Charlie’s three other grandparents in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator.
3. Michael Gambon’s character in Dennis Potter’s The Singing Detective
4. Michael Gambon’s character in Stephen Poliakoff’s Perfect Strangers.
5. Virginia Woolf’s Orlando – who goes to bed for so long he changes into a woman.
6. Julianne Moore in The Hours – who dreams of drowning in bed after reading a book by the above Ms Woolf.
7. Angela Lansbury and her NON-drowning underwater bed in Bedknobs and Broomsticks.
8. Johnny Depp eaten by an unkind mattress in Nightmare on Elm Street
9. Lyta Hall in Neil Gaiman’s Sandman, off to kill Dream in her dreams.
10. David Tennant’s Doctor in ‘Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion’, saving the world with a satsuma in his pyjamas.

Ten best places to eat in Oxford by peter momtchiloff / the would-be-goods, scarlet’s well, les clochards
1. Al-Shami (Lebanese)
2. Carne (Brazilian)
3. Al-Andalus (tapas)
4. Liaison (Chinese)
5. Branca (Mediterranean)
6. Chiang Mai (Thai)
7. Red Star (noodles)
8. La Cucina (Italian)
9. Edamame (Japanese)
10. Dildunia (Indian)

Ten best things about the movie ‘Twilight’ by emma straub
1. Robert Pattinson’s gravity-defying hair.
2. Catherine Hardwicke’s creepily good eye for teenage misery.
3. Casual reference to Debussy.
4. The hot teenage vampire drives a Volvo.
5. She’s still a virgin at the end, and totally pissed about it.
6. Robert Pattinson’s completely bizarre American accent, which is neither Pacific Northwest nor anywhere else.
7. Vampires turn into glitter in the sun?
8. Mom ran off with a minor league baseball player. Really?
9. The mean vampire is also the bad seed from ‘The O.C.’, another world I loved that made little sense in its final moments.
10. Werewolves coming up next!

Ten best secret pie ingredients by candice pedersen
1. Graham cracker crumbs (crust)
2. Nutmeg for (savory pies)
3. Vodka (crust)
4. Crystalized ginger (fruit pies)
5. Orange zest (fruit pies)
6. Apple cider (apple pie)
7. Animal crackers (crust)
8. Sherry (savory pies)
9. Grated Granny Smith apple (blueberry pie)
10. King Arthur flours

chickfactor top ten holiday records.

it’s the time of year when, as crazy old phil spector goes back to his murder trial with yet another crazy hairstyle, we should remember the absolute genius of the man. I don’t know why but this year I have been infected with holiday spirit and here’s my playlist that keeps me sane while I pour the soy eggnog over the maker’s mark — yum.

1. a christmas gift for you from phil spector. highlights: ‘marshmallow world’ and ‘christmas (baby please come home)’ by darlene love. buy it here
2. vince guaraldi trio, a charlie brown christmas. I went to a real-life christmas pageant last week and it was amazingly reminiscent of this classic jazzy collection.
3. the pogues and kirsty maccoll, ‘fairy tale of new york’. living in the UK, one hears this song over the holidays hundreds of times, in pubs, in shops, on tv, etc. drunk brits select the track at karaoke following falling-down-drunk xmas lunches. good old shane used to be my neighbor in london, and kirsty (rest in peace) was one of my favorite lady songwriters ever. be like a proper brit and learn the lyrics and sing along or watch it here.
4. pytor illych tchaikovsky: the nutcracker suite. nothing says magic like the dance of the sugarplum fairies. if you have a chance to go to the ballet, oh do.
5. the pines, christmas EP, especially ‘chalet’ and ‘high street’. southeast london’s brightest folk-pop stars made an EP that really should have topped the billboard charts, if people weren’t stupidly buying other dumb things like *christmas with toby keith*, or *shania twain sings the holiday classics* or *hannah montana: what a dork*. hear it here, here and here.
6. the flaming lips, ‘white christmas’. just like wayne coyne himself, this version is warped, whimsical and wonderful. the only band that’s ever mattered from oklahoma city has also made their own kooky holiday film: buy their christmas on mars DVD here.
7. low, ‘just like christmas’. the first time I saw low, I had to walk through like three feet of snow to get there and when I did get there, the poor dears had just driven 17 hours to get to nyc and there were just three of us in the audience (and one was their then-A&R woman). they are a very wintery band indeed! here’s a lovely track.
8. jens lekman, ‘maple leaves’. it’s not a christmas song you say? but surely it almost is.
9. aztec camera, ‘walk out to winter’. our man roddy — he used to be so great.
10. robert gordon or elvis presley, ‘blue christmas’. here is elvis singing the holiday classic. I kind of prefer robert gordon’s — he’s a classic rockabilly dude I used to see tons when I was small.
runners up:
11. kiki & herb, do you hear what we hear? if you can track down the xmas song stephin merritt wrote for them, hear it. best idea: go see kiki & herb (oh, wait, did they split up?) at xmastime, preferably not at a big fancy venue like queen elizabeth hall but a cozy place like fez. oh, that used to cheer me up.
12. vashti bunyan, winter is blue.
okay people, tell me what I forgot! what are your faves?