I will never be british.

my 13-year-old niece will be chuffed to bits that I will soon relocate back to the united states of america as forces beyond my control are forcing me out of the united kingdom. I will be elaborating shortly on why this has happened, what I will miss and not miss about limeyland, and which fall fashion trends you should avoid at all costs. meanwhile, here is a beautiful photo of my bucolic backyard in highgate, which I will miss so very much. be patient with me, yanks, as I readjust to your culture. I have no trace of a british brogue, but I will occasionally say british things like “chuffed to bits” and “cheers mate” and “trousers” and (my favourite word) “bonkers.” england does not want me or appreciate me — and I’m starting to feel the same way (though I have no choice!). handsome gents and long lost ladyfriends in new york and other great american cities, feel free to contact me… (sadly, the redhead in the photo isn’t me). and if you’re sending me records, send them to the north carolina address. cheers mate.

photograph: gail’s garden in highgate, august 11, 2007; by michael jones