elder statesmen: in and out of trouble.

I have a neighbour named ray davies, I see him sometimes when I have brunch in highgate village, or walking around or sitting on a bench with his tiny blond ladyfriend. ray looks so much like ray that it’s unmistakable. I like seeing him. I love living where I live, it’s one of the best places ever to live. however, it’s a shame about ray’s haircut. I want him to get a new one. I didn’t take a photo to show here, but it basically accentuates the largeness of his face, so if you see ray, suggest he get a chop.
another one of my neighbours is named shane macgowan, who I see whenever I’m in the vicinity of the boogaloo bar. he was never the handsomest of fellas — let’s face it, he looked a bit like howdy-doody when he was young. but he’s a damn talented man and booze is a big part of his image. but pics such as this might give the youngsters a reason to lay off the sauce or they may end up looking like this — and appearing to be tipsy at all times like mr shane here.

another one of the greats of pop, phil spector, seems like a bit of a jerk it has to be said, but the man was a genius. altering his hairdo might make him more accessible to a jury of his peers and a little less scary to small children:

another former huge star of british pop, adam ant, also gets into bar brawls pretty easily, but it’s not surprising. here in britain, the only thing worse than being an 80s pop icon is being a former 80s pop icon who adult bullies down the pub might want to take the peace out of. those whose hotness has faded (boy george, george michael, etc) don’t stand a chance. better to move to a castle in france than to show your face in this tabloid-loving city of london!

gary glitter, who has had some serious troubles with the law, has tried to change his look in hopes of getting a lesser punishment. exhibit A shows his former criminal look:

while exhibit B shows the new mr glitter, ready for the courtroom drama. what a difference a new coif makes!

any pop stars and former pop stars interested in hiring me as a fashion + beauty consultant, please do. I am brutally honest, but you will thank me in the end! (and if anyone knows my neighbour terry gilliam, please tell him I want to interview him rather than give him a makeover, but I might bring some haircutting shears to remove his tiny rattail!)