dear darling elvis. we are glad to see you are doing well. we haven’t heard your new album yet but it sounds like it’s going to be twangy and glorious (it is streaming on his site…). we can see that you are sporting a moustache, just a moustache, and no specs in this portrait. you really can’t do wrong by us (apart from marrying the yuppie jazz singer diana krall, ugh; did you have to have twins with her!? at least she’s not on your new album, right?) but do…please…shave. or at the very least give yourself an all-over-stubble appearance — that would suit you and has suited you in the past. if your new yuppie bride is giving you style advice, it’s probably selfishly to keep other ladies away. anyway, we have nothing against facial hair in general; god knows a great many of our pals are sporting beards, staches, adorable stubble or some variation of all three and that’s fine. but this solitary line isn’t working, dear sir. (and feel free to wear specs — nothing wrong with those!)