as nasty as you want me to be…

does anyone know simon fuller? I think he needs to audition me, yes me, to be the new simon cowell. I refuse to wear fake tan in a ghastly shade of oompa-loompa orange. I refuse to wear v-neck t-shirts and tight, high-waisted acid-wash jeans. and it’s best if I don’t try speaking in a british accent, though I’m happy to toss in a few britishisms, such as “chuffed” and “faff” and “rubbish” if need be. oh please simon fuller, I am what you are looking for. I am your new…. miss nasty. since the london times once called me the “hottest pop writer in the U.S.” or something, I believe I am also highly qualified. (okay, so if any of you know simon fuller, please please please get me an audition…)

2 Replies to “as nasty as you want me to be…”

  1. Find out how someone gets their name taken into consideration or if you have to send in a film. I’m probably not telegenic enough but I am more articulate than Paula Abdul! most of the time Simon C and I agree on things. thanks harv!

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